Whoa! I'm the only member on-line...

[THEYTOOKMYTHUMB]

Well, I guess I'll take the opportunity to tell an off-color joke...

A man and woman were in their living room and she was throwing peanuts into the air and he was catching them in his mouth. Their daughter and her boyfriend walked in and since being distracted the man turned his head. A peanut landed in his ear... They tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Finally their daughter's boyfriend stuck his fingers in the dad's nose and told him to shut his mouth and blow as hard as he could. Sure enough, the peanut popped out. Later on the wife said "He's really smart. What do you think he'll be when he grows up?" The husband said "Well, judging by the smell of his fingers I'd say our son-in-law"

Hellooooo? Just crickets...UH-Ohh I think the google adsense[bot] is eyeballin' me...

[THEYTOOKMYTHUMB]

Whoa! It happened again! Several years later...



Four guys are at a table eating dinner, and one guy says to the others "I had my penis enlarged.". The other guys ask "How the hell did you do that??". He says "They took the trunk of a baby Elephant and implanted in my penis.". The guys say "No WAY!". So the guy says "I'll prove it. Watch this.". All of a sudden they see the guy's penis come up to the table and grab a roll. It then disappears underneath the table. The guys say "WOW! Do it again!." He says "Well I would, but I don't think my ass can hold another roll.".

Ba-dump-bump...

[rc10johnny]

Been 5 mins still laughing

[klavy69]

I hope you enjoyed Ken the Incredible ladies and gentlemen...he'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitresses

Todd

[CamplinP]

Good Stuff.

[THEYTOOKMYTHUMB]

Wow, only member on-line on a Tuesday morning? Rare event indeed, but you know what that means??

-A guy tells his wife "Honey, I'm going to make our sex life a lot easier. If you want to have sex just reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just reach over and pull on my penis 100 times.".

[THEYTOOKMYTHUMB]

Uh oh!

A guy and his wife were driving along in their truck when a skunk ran out in front of them. They hit it. They felt bad and decided to try and save it. They circled back and picked it up. The man told his wife to set it in her lap until they got to the vet. She said "What about the smell?". Her husband said "Hell I don't know, just pinch it's little nose.".

[GoMachV]

Lmfao!

[Lowgear]

There were two hidden members online, and one was me.

[RC10resto]

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy O

[LTO_Dave]

You should change your name to THEYTOOKMYTHUMB [Bot].

[Diamond Dave]

You should change your name to THEYTOOKMYTHUMB [Bot].

Hehe, that is good! I have had it happen a few times in the last year or so. I usually look to see who is online. Weird huh.

[R Cane]

My turn...

A man and a woman were driving down the road and arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reaches over and slices the man's penis off. Angrily, she tosses it out the car window. Driving behind the couple is a man and his 9-year-old daughter. The little girl is chatting away to her father when all of a sudden the penis smacks the car on the windshield, sticks for a moment, then flies off. Surprised, the daughter asks he father, "Daddy, what was that?!?" Not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replies, "It was only a big bug, honey." The daughter sits with a confused look on her face, and after a few minutes she says, "Sure had a huge dick, didn't it?"

[RC104ever]

OMG, I'm literally laughing out loud!! All these jokes are priceless!!

[Halgar]

Guess it's my turn, I don't have a joke, but I've got an interesting thing that happened today. I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course, I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a strong willpower, just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner, now available with lemon or vanilla scent!